Arranged Marriage

What is an arranged marriage? It is an arrangement made by someone other than the  person getting married.

The purpose of an arranged marriage is to form a new family unit by marriage while respecting the chastity of all people involved. As suggested by the term, an arranged marriage is typically arranged by someone other than the persons getting married, curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship. Such marriages are numerous in the Middle East and parts of Africa and Asia. Other groups that practice this custom include the Unification Movement, royal families and Hindus.Note that the term “arranged marriage” is used even if the parents have no direct involvement in selecting the spouse. The match could be selected by a matchmaking agent, matrimonials site, or trusted third party. In many communities, priests or religious leaders as well as trusted relatives or family friends play a major role in matchmaking.The pattern of arranged marriage may be employed for other reasons beside the formation of a promising new family unit. In such marriages, typically economic or legal reasons take precedence over the goal of selecting a well matching couple. Though critics are not always specific, criticism of arranged married usually targets abuses such as forced marriage and child marriage. 

General Summary: From the survey Reponses receive most of the 90% of the youths think it is a good moral for culture and heritage. While the 10% think that it is not a good idea to be in an arrange marriage coz it is up to each individual to choose his/her own partner in life.

   

Survey Questions:

1. What do you think about arrrang4 marriage?
2. If you were I an arrang3 marriage what do you think about it? How would it affect our relationship?
3. And if not arrange marriage what do you recommend?
4. Any further comment?

       

Survey responses:

TOPIC:     ARRANGED MARRIAGE  PETER ALUMEDI age 24/ male: Madang and Milne Bay Provinces 

1. What do you think about arranged marriages?

 

“It is morally good for culture and heritage. However, more and more people are getting to know partners away from the cultural background as people move around to get educated, find jobs and that. Arranged marriage is bad because I believe the guy or girl will grow to dislike the partner.”

 

2. How would an arranged marriage affect your relationship?

 

“It will take me a longer period to get to know the person, like the person and even love and accept the person as a partner. Otherwise, I just wouldn’t want to get to know the lady.”

 

3. If not arranged marriage what do you prescribe. Any further comments?

 

“Arranged marriage should not take place. At the age of 16, youth should be allowed to socialize and get to know others. Ask them about their views and whether they prefer arranged marriage. The thing about arranged marriages is that it will always be in conflict of interest of either partners”

 FIONA WARTOVO age 26/female: East New Britain Province 

1. What do you think about arranged marriages?

 

“I think it’s a good way to keep tradition and especially nowadays there are so many intermarriages and people forget their customs and traditions.”

 

2. How would an arranged marriage affect your relationship?

           

“I guess it depends on the individual person but I think it would better family ties. Your ties become stronger and you can link to different clans. In terms of land, it is very important.”

   

3. If not arranged marriage what do you prescribe. Any further comments?

 

“There is always other options. Arranged marriage is just one and it doesn’t mean it can apply to everyone. Of course there may be pressures from one’s family to have an arranged marriage but it’s up to each individual.”

  ANCILLA POYAT, age 25/female: Manus Province 

1. What do you think about arranged marriages?

 

“They are a thing of the past. Times are changing and people need to understand that. It’s not as if people cannot find their own partners. People should be allowed the freedom to do so.”

 

2. How would an arranged marriage affect your relationship?

 

“If I just didn’t like the person, I would feel trapped and I would wonder if the person really liked me because it would not be of my own free will. Sometimes pressures from family result in depression and suicide. It’s not a nice thought. It shouldn’t be about what your family wants, it should be about what makes you happy. After all, you’re the one to live with that decision.”

 

3. If not arranged marriage what do you prescribe. Any further comments?

 

“Get out there and find your own partner, your soul mate. And make it clear to your family from the start that no arranged marriage is going to work for you.”

 TERENCE URIM, age 25/male: East Sepik Province 

1. What do you think about arranged marriages?

 

“Well, what your family thinks is very important. Some people like to keep that pride in their family so arranged marriage becomes an important trait. I personally dislike the idea of my family interfering in my personal affairs.”

 

2. How would an arranged marriage affect your relationship?

 

“Frankly, we wouldn’t get along and I just… it would be unbearable. You cannot just pick two people and expect them to click and for them to be in love. It’s stone age mentality. With globalization we need to open up our minds and not be shallow in our thinking.”

    

3. If not arranged marriage what do you prescribe. Any further comments?

 

“I would encourage people to find love themselves. You cannot chose who you love… that doesn’t mean arranged marriage will work. I believe there is someone out there for everyone.

 WEANA JONATHAN, age 24/female: Milne Bay Province 

1. What do you think about arranged marriages?

“I don’t know for this to exist anymore in my province except in rare cases, in villages perhaps. I’m not a big fan of it because I know for a fact that it is not about the happiness of an individual but more like family interest. It even happened in royalty for land or wealth gain.”

 

2. How would an arranged marriage affect your relationship?

 

“You wouldn’t know the person and the thought of spending the rest of your life with some stranger is scary. You miss out on the opportunity to actually find that other person, you know the one meant for you  - your soulmate.”

 

3. If not arranged marriage what do you prescribe. Any further comments?

 

“Just don’t go desperately searching to find that other person. Stop looking, and start praying. If you’re worried about finding that other person. Imagine how God feels about it. I’m sure he will come back to you with nothing short of your soul – mate.”